Anomaly in the Woods
by Darkmoose84
Summary: Set in 2026, Janna and Tom take a trip to Gravity Falls to help Dipper, Pacifica, Wendy, and Mabel close the random portals that are appearing throughout the woods and town. Set after the events of Reality Fracture and during Secrets of Pirate's Cove.
1. Meet Mr Pines

"Well they shipped him way out West\Thought they'd put their minds at rest\Now they've thrown the key away\And there's nothing left to say." – The Wailin' Jennys

Oregon, June 25th, 2026

The lone car zoomed across the lonely highway, the woodland area surrounding it. An omnidirectional camera sat perched atop the vehicle to capture all that surrounded it. The two passengers were able to intake the beautiful green foliage of the Douglas firs that seemed to blend together across the mountainous region. It was almost like watching a moving Van Gogh painting, with the swirling greens, browns, and grays speeding on behind them.

Of course, at least one of them questioned the importance of this.

"You know we could have just portalled there," Tom sneered, "We didn't have to take the scenic route."

"Ah, come on," Janna chided, "This gives us a chance to see what the surrounding area is actually like. Plus, I thought it would be good for Mr. Pines' show, at least for stock footage he could use. And hey, maybe I'll catch a windego or sasquatch hiding in the trees or something. Good for the YouTube paranormal community. Not to mention, it's 360, so kids at home can watch it on their VR headsets."

"You still could have let me drive, you know," Tom rolled his eyes.

"Okay, one, you need a rest after last night," Janna responded, shooting him a quick glance, "Two, it's my car, so I'm driving it." Being queen of the underworld had its perks, and Janna was going to take full advantage of it with her new fancy Mercedes-esque car, which they were sure to design after the ones found on Earth. Tom groaned in frustration, but Janna grabbed his hand while chuckling. Her touch instantly calmed him down, though he could still not explain why. "Tell ya what. You can drive it through the Mewni mountains after all this is done. I've actually never seen them or that monster temple everyone's been talking about."

"You know they're about to turn that into a historical landmark," Tom said, "supposedly showcasing the history of King Globgor."

"All the more reason to pay it a visit," Janna grinned, "and see if there are any ghosts haunting it."

"Ah, you and your undead obsession," Tom laughed, "but that's why I love you. Undead are pretty metal." He looked out the window again and saw a dip over the side of the mountain. This allowed him to see the massive valley below. He saw a massive waterfall falling into an expansive lake that flowed down a long river through the valley before them. Beyond the lake lay small houses and shops, its denizens too small for him to see. North of this was an enormous cliff from which the waterfall originated. In this gargantuan cliff was what looked like a huge crack in the great cliff. For some reason, he imagined the cheesy 1950's sci-fi films his wife had shown him and wondered if it was from the same design.

A minute later, the car passed a large road sign that read in the same font one would find on a post card "Welcome to Gravity Falls." For a brief moment, Tom thought he saw what looked like living lawn gnomes crawling across the sign's face before disappearing into the woods. He wondered what other strangeness they might encounter here.

"So tell me about this Gravity Falls town," he continued.

"This whole town is one big anomaly of paranormal weirdness," Janna replied, "There's been reports, from both on-the-ground eyewitnesses and from FBI officials about what went down here 14 years ago. Apparently, there was a portal that opened to some horrible dimension that nearly caused Earth's apocalypse. And for some reason, it was only isolated to this town. The hypothesis is that it had to do with the geographical location to some point in the ethereal plane, but there's no scientific evidence yet that can back that claim. There's also the fact that so much weirdness surrounds this town that it's thought to exist on its own separate plane, much like that ghost town I've kept reading about: Silent Hill. They only recently added it to the global maps because of the growing popularity of Dipper Pines' web series about the town. That's where we come in. He wanted to take a moment to interview us about the weirdness in Echo Creek, and being the paranormal enthusiast I am, I offered to contribute to his show."

"And hopefully I don't get turned into a guinea pig for it," Tom groaned.

"I'll make sure you don't," Janna assured him, "But if he asks you 10,000 questions about the Underworld, I'm sorry. We'll just make sure everything stays professional. We're here to spot a possible anomaly in the woods, something that might be related to the return of whatever visited the town back in 2012."

It was not long before the two found themselves driving through the quaint town. Its tiny shops and restaurants lining the streets seemed so much different than those in Echo Creek, much more homely and simplistic, but this is part of what made them stand out to those passing by. They all served their purpose in this obscure part of the state. The two then performed a U-turn near the Greasy's Diner parking lot. As they did, they could smell the wonderful aromas of barbecue ribs emanating from the establishment. It made them realize how hungry both of them were for dinner. Still, they knew they were almost at their destination.

The car turned down the off-road path through a large grove of pine trees, which made both Janna and Tom laugh at the irony of the name of the man they were about to meet. For a second, Janna thought she saw some gargantuan eyes staring at the car as it passed. She wondered if this was the monster Dr. Ford Pines described in his infamous 3rd Journal known only as "Steve." (Of which there were now plenty of PDF copies that circled the online paranormal community)

Soon enough, they found themselves in front of the infamous Mystery Shack. The Underworld king and queen left their car and walked to the front of the cabin, where a group of tourists were walking out the front door and down the small stairs.

"Goodbye!" shouted a rather portly man wearing an eye patch and fez, "And be sure to come again for all new mysteries next month." He then looked down and saw Janna and Tom approaching him from the stairs. "Sorry, dudes, but the Shack is closing up for the day. Plenty of new mysteries tomorrow, though."

"As cool as it sounds," Janna replied, "we're actually not here for the tour. We were told to meet Dipper Pines here."

"Oh, dude, I forgot," the man face-palmed before taking off his fake eye patch, "Follow me. He's down in the basement, hard at work as usual. Soos, by the way, dudes." He then lead the two inside. Along the way, they passed by some novelty merchandise, along with a front counter at which a woman with light brown hair was taking the drawer out of the cash register to count today's earnings.

"Oh, hi," she waved, "I'm Melody. Welcome to Gravity Falls." Her voice had a pleasant tone to it that made even Tom smile.

"I'm Janna Ordonia-Lucitor," the paranormalist queen replied and pointed to her horned husband, "And this is Tom."

"Wonderful to meet you both," Melody eyed Tom and thought to herself how well he fit in here, though she didn't vocalize it for fear of sounding rude.

Soos lead the out-of-towners to a vending machine in which he input the code that opened the doorway behind it, making sure they did not see his input. Janna thought it was a cool touch and wondered what could have been so secretive that this was necessary to build, what mysteries could be waiting down there, and whether or not her new castle in the Underworld had any such passages. Tom just wondered when they were going to eat.

They headed down the stairs, though Soos didn't follow them, to where they found an elevator. They pressed the B button, which took them down deep beneath the ground on which the shack had been constructed. Eventually, they found what looked like a dark, dusty laboratory where green, red, and blue lights flickered on and off on several machines of which neither of them recognized. At the far end was a desk at which a man with dark brown hair sat, scribbling down notes and looking through a window which lead to what they assumed was a testing area where two women were apparently building something. As they walked closer, they could see that one had jet black hair with thick googles and was holding a blow torch to a dark metal frame, while the other was a more muscular woman with brown hair who was turning a large wrench and tightening a seemingly important screw.

Tom and Janna took a quick glance at the desk. On it were a jumbled mass of case files on the paranormal, ranging from Big Foot, to UFOs, to ghost sightings. There was even one document Janna hadn't considered in awhile that had multiple circles on it referring to the Black Knight Satellite. A plate of spaghetti and garlic bread sat half eaten in the middle of the paper work, reminding Tom of the dinner he so desperately wanted. Also on the desk was a picture of Mr. Pines himself, along with three women; two to his left and right were a red head and blonde respectively, while one brunette was peaking over his shoulder, pushing her way into the shot and making a goofy face, clearly trying to photo-bomb the picture and add some humor to their portrait.

"Uh, Mr. Pines?" Janna muttered. Dipper swiveled his chair around with a jolt through his whole body and a surprised look on his face.

"Oh, hey, you're here!" Dipper exclaimed and leaped from his chair. He then shook hands with both of them, "It's nice to finally meet both of you in person. Also, please, just call me Dipper. It's kinda weird being called mister, since it makes me think of my dad and my two great uncles. And Tom? You may have guessed I've got a long list of questions for you, but that can wait for tomorrow."

"Looking forward to it," Tom lied, squinting his three eyes and forcing a smile.

"Is that your latest journal?" Janna inquired with excitement as she noticed the new leather-bound book on a nearby shelf with what looked like the sign of a blue pine tree with the number 6 on its cover. Without asking, she raced over to it and began furiously browsing through it with an enormous smile on her face.

"Sure is," Dipper answered with some pride, "Started that one after I left Miskatonic University and came back here."

"You studied at Miskatonic?" Janna rolled her eyes, "Jealous!"

"Yeah, sadly paranormal investigators there were a dime a dozen," Dipper continued, "though they did have a good photography and media production program so I could start my web series. My student advisers felt like Arkham already had plenty of paranormal investigators, so they sent me back out here. Plus, I kind of had some...other reasons for coming back to Gravity Falls."

"Let me guess," Tom interjected, "It was because of a girl right?"

"Actually, yes," Dipper answered sheepishly, "A couple actually...it's a long story, but I settled down with one of them, eventually."

"Well, I know how that goes," Tom replied. He and Janna smiled at each other.

"Whatcha got in there?" Janna asked, "It looks cool."

"Thaaaat," Dipper swung his head to look through the window again, "is what we're going to be using tomorrow. We've had several dimensional anomalies appear over the past week. Apparently, it's similar to what you had discussed with me, about how back when you were a teen how your friend would randomly open portals while she slept. These, however...there's just no rhyme or reason behind them. We even had one of those flying eyeballs that turned organic matter into stone fly out of one of them before we could subdue it and send it back where they came from. Now, these portals do eventually close on their own, but they're staying open for too long. This machine we're working on should allow us to close these portals, matching their electromagnetic frequencies and reversing them."

"Very awesome," Janna added, "I wonder if you can replicate the type of portals that Star opens with her scissors. It would be something to see how Earth science could emulate Mewni magic."

"Grenda in there is already working on it," Dipper pointed his thumb in the built woman's direction, "She's wanting to make something so that she can travel back and forth from here to Austria. I think she's getting tired of shelling out money for plane tickets. Actually, this isn't even our main office; we mostly work out of the lab at McGuckett Manor and use this spot for special projects."

"Hey Dipper," the dark haired girl with the goggles said as she poked her head through the door into the control room, a slight Korean accent in her tone, "We finally finished it!"

"Thanks Candy," Dipper gave her a thumbs up, "Let's do some testing, but not for too long. Promised I'd meet Pacifica over at the Aquatic."

"Is the Aquatic a restaurant?" Tom asked.

"Yeah," Dipper sighed, "My wife and I really needed a date night before any more craziness sprang up. I know, I know, it's the night before our big hike through the woods tomorrow, but it was the one time we could both pencil it in, given how busy we are. Thankfully, she's able to come with us on this one."

"Could you please take us with you?" Tom asked, a sense of desperation sprawled across his face, "I'm starving!" Janna and Dipper both chuckled at his behavior.

"Alright, alright," Dipper replied, "We'll make it a double date."


	2. The Northwest Inheritance

Tom continued stuffing his face with an appetizer of jumbo shrimp while Janna sent several texts from her phone before putting it back in her bag, resisting the urge to watch a particularly interesting paranormal video. This Dipper character pulled out his notepad and pen, and his wife, a gorgeous blonde woman in a purple silk sheath dress who had arrived less than a minute ago, looked slightly annoyed that he had brought his work to dinner.

"So, Mr. Lucitor," Dipper chimed, "You've clearly got an appetite tonight. On the subject of food, what do you normally eat for breakfast?"

"Ugh, really, my nerd?" the blonde woman chided, though she still had a smirk on her face, as though she were accustomed to his behavior, "You're really going to bring your work to our dinner out? Besides, aren't you going to introduce me to our guests?"

"Sorry," he then sheepishly put the notes and pen away, "Guys, this is my wife, Pacifica. She's the mayor's assistant and will probably take up the mantle herself one day."

"You can call me Paz if it's easier," she followed, holding out her hand with some grace, "A four syllable name doesn't exactly role off the tongue so easily."

She had taken to calling herself that after Wendy Corduroy, the head of Gravity Falls Lumber and Sawmill, had given her the name while they were teens. The two of them had grown closer while they waited for the Pines twins to return each summer.

"Charmed," Tom stood and kissed her hand. She wasn't sure how she felt about the half-demon king doing this, but at least he had some class to him, which she admired.

"Likewise," Pacifica replied and looked over at Janna who seemed to be chuckling at Tom's pretentious behavior.

"Wassup, Miss Gravity Falls?" Janna greeted her shaking her hand roughly. She was used to this sort of thing from Wendy, but from someone she just met, it kind of blindsided her. "I heard you have some paranormal stories of your own."

"I guess you could say that," Pacifica answered, still shaking her hand from Janna's playful yet violent grip before sitting down. "What do you want to know?"

"You're either constantly plagued by ghosts or you have dreams about some alien city?"

"How did you know that was me?" Pacifica asked, an uncomfortable look on her face. Ford had promised that his published reports regarding her personal encounters would remain anonymous.

"It wasn't hard to figure out if you do a little digging," Janna replied with a slight smirk, "I kind of have a reputation for getting personal information. But yeah, I was just curious about your perspective on them."

Before she could protest, a waiter brought them their meals. Janna had battered fish and chips with lemon juice, Dipper had some sweet Alaskan cod, Pacifica an aromatic four-spiced swordfish (Dipper knew what she liked and had already ordered for her; she still couldn't shake her expensive tastes), and for Tom...a simple slice of cherry pie. The four began eating before Pacifica turned her attention back to Janna, who was still staring at her, waiting for an answer.

"Well, I suppose," Pacifica sighed, "It's like nearly everyone who died in the past has some beef with the Northwest family. First it was the ghost of one of our friend's great-great-grandfather who placed a curse on my entire bloodline."

"I had to make an entirely new category of ghost from that one," Dipper chimed into the conversation.

"From there," Pacifica continued, "they just kind of continued to show up. There was that guy who died in my family's mudflap factory, and then there was that ghost lady who said my grandfather had extorted money from her. She didn't actually say this in any sort of voice but rather wrote this in blood on the wall of my bedroom." She rubbed her brow in frustration, recalling the incident from years ago. "It just comes down to the fact that I've inherited my family's baggage. I'm trying to fix our reputation, but there's just so much wrong that needs to be righted on that front."

"Dang, woman," Janna responded, "That's rough."

"Sorry," Pacifica said, "I must be making a bad first impression. Just hard to fix something that's been broken for generations."

"And you know I'm here to help with that," Dipper stated, reaching out and holding Pacifica's opposite hand, "We know you're nothing like them. You've made so many improvements over the years, and that's one of the many reasons I married you." She glanced over at her husband, and the two smiled as they looked into each others' eyes.

Just then, Pacifica's phone chimed, and she instinctively reached into her purse to check it. She immediately regretted the decision, as it was a message from the mayor asking for her help with another possible sighting of the Grimloblin in his backyard.

"Ugh, seriously?" she groaned.

"It seems neither of us can escape bringing our work to a night out," Dipper chided.

"Can it, dork," Pacifica shot back at him while giving a sarcastic smile. "It's like, when I'm in the office, I can't go two steps without him asking for my help with something."

"Tell me about it," Tom groaned, "I've never liked politics, but I kinda got thrown into it from my birthright. Now, the underworld can't even make a simple decision for themselves without asking either me or Janna first about it. We hired you guys as the experts on these subjects; just figure it out, guys." There was some obvious tension building in his voice as he thought about this.

"Yeah," Pacifica continued, "And then there's the rest of the staff asking me for advice on this and that. Can't they do their own jobs? It's almost worse than when I worked at Greasy's Diner with people shouting orders left and right." The tension in her demeanor was becoming more evident as well.

"I know, right?" Tom rhetorically asked, "And why do they keep asking me the same questions over and over again? I don't have a favorite pie, bakers; I love all pie!"

"It just makes me so..." Pacifica began.

"So..." Tom followed.

"ANGRY!" the two shouted in unison, their choleric natures finally coming out. The difference was that with Tom, his hair caught on fire for a brief moment. This invited a few irritated glares from the other patrons before they went back to their own meals.

"Well, it seems we're in the same boat at least," Tom stated after some silence.

"You mean with the bottled aggression?" Paz asked him.

"That too, I guess," Tom replied, "I could tell you how I've been channeling it..." And the two blue-bloods continued their conversation about their anger management therapy.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" Janna asked Dipper.

"Well, I'm planning on taking the machine in the truck to the woods," Dipper answered, "If I can put in on the ground directly underneath the dimensional tear, it should be able to seal it up."

"How do you know when the next one will occur?" Janna followed.

"I've been tracking the electromagnetic pulses," Dipper replied, "And they seem to be moving in a pattern across the forest. I'm predicting the next one will be here." He brought out a map on his phone and showed where he had highlighted part of the woodland area. He then got two texts almost immediately after one another. He opened them to find that it was part of the chat that Paz, Wendy, and Mabel were having earlier in the day, the latter two saying they would definitely be there to help tomorrow. "And it looks like we're going to have some extra help carrying the device after all."

"You know," Janna mentioned, "I think I have an easier way to do this, if we can get in touch with the person I'm thinking of."

"Maybe they could give some insight on this, too," Dipper said.

"Worth a try," Janna pulled out her phone again and texted Star and Marco, asking them if they had Hekapoo's number or if there was an easier way to contact her. "And now for the long waiting game." The king and queen were on vacation in California, and she knew it might take them awhile to answer unfortunately.

"...And you sort of remind me of one of our other friends, Robbie," Pacifica told Tom, "I think the two of you would get along great."

"Are those anger explosions common?" Dipper asked.

"Eh, sometimes," Janna shrugged, "I'm pretty good at calming him down, but when I can't, I've got another method for defusing the situation." She then looked over at her husband with a mischievous smirk.

"No, don't!" Tom yelped as he was about to take another bite of cherry pie.

"Chicken Butt," Janna casually muttered, the smirk not leaving her face, and Tom fell off his chair asleep. "Just giving you a demonstration. I'll buy him some more pie later; he'll be fine."

The four eventually made their way outside to the parking lot.

"Ow," Tom groaned, rubbing his head from the fall, "I hate it when you do that."

"Alright, I'm sorry," Janna held him and kissed his cheek, "How 'bout I give my demon some chocolate pie later?"

"I'd like that," he replied and then turned to their hosts who were walking right behind them, "Well, Dipper, Paz, it's been nice meeting you both, but we need to pass out somewhere. Any recommendations?"

"Yeah," Pacifica replied, letting go of her husband, grabbing her phone, and texting Tom an address, "The Great Northwestern. It might be owned by my jerk of a father, but it's become one of the best places to stay the night for tourists."

After having lost so much of his stock, Preston Northwest had to pursue more business ventures, namely hotel management in addition to taking up his father's business in realty. If it meant a chance to overcharge for the price of land without anyone knowing, he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity.

"Alright," Tom said, "We'll give the place a try. Good night, you two."

Pacifica turned back to Dipper and held him in her arms, looking up into his eyes.

"Wendy and Mabel said they were in for this as well," Dipper stated in a warm tone; despite the fact that he was focused on his task, Paz's dark blue eyes would always cause him to melt internally.

"Great," Pacifica replied, "That means you won't be alone keeping watch tonight for...whatever this weird thing you're chasing is."

"Me?" Dipper questioned, laughing, "I thought you were helping tonight, too."

"Ha!" Pacifica chuckled, "You know this beauty needs her beauty sleep." She paused and then leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Nah, I'll still help tonight."

"You're the worst," Dipper smirked.

"But still you love me, nerd boy," Pacifica retorted.

The two stood for a moment, holding each other and looking past the parking lot, over the treeline, and into the dark sky full of twinkling stars. Pacifica admired how majestic and elegant the image was, while Dipper wondered what it would be like to fly among them and what could be living out among them. Still, they were happy to have this moment to share with one another.

"You know, seeing nothing but forest day in and day out can get a bit dull," Pacifica broke the silence, "I think we should take our vacation in Paris this year or next."

"If we can afford it," Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Trust me," she replied, "I'll make it happen." She turned her gaze once more to him before then burying her face in his chest. "I know I said I would help keep watch with you all tonight, and I don't mind the shifts, but I'm so exhausted...Maybe you could help keep me awake?"

"Okay," he replied, still smiling.

The Great Northwestern was a perfectly picturesque structure, right next to the waterfall that fell directly into Gravity Falls' massive lake. It was a perfect testament of decadence atop the high hills within the Oregon wilderness, looking down over the smaller structures of the town below, as if it were judging their inferiority. Of course, when Tom heard the price for the cost of a room, he was less than thrilled.

"$650 a night for each of us?!" Tom exclaimed, every fiber of his being trying not to let his head burst into flames, "This ain't exactly the New York Ritz-Carlton, lady!"

"Those are the prices for the rooms," the lady behind the counter replied in a slow, nasaly tone, "If you have any complaints, you can contact Preston Northwest tomorrow at his various numbers."

"You know we have no problem affording that, right?" Janna chuckled at Tom's needless anger.

"I know, but it's the principle of the thing," Tom replied, "Ooooh, where is Marco when you need him?"

"Probably in his own expensive hotel room next to the San Francisco Bay with Star," Janna replied, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Ugh, fine," Tom slammed his royal debit card on the counter, and the woman swiped it. He took back the black and red plastic device, and the two walked away. "Remind me to tell that Paz woman tomorrow that her father's a jerk for charging his guests for so much."

"I gotta feeling she already knows," Janna laughed.

The underworld couple finally reached their room, and sure enough, it was lavish, with nice furniture, soft gray-blue carpet, a fireplace on the opposite wall from the silk-sheet bed, and a large set of windows that would have given them a wonderful view of the forest had the night not been so dark.

Janna and Tom readied themselves for bed, both of them extremely tired from both the drive and the preparation for tomorrow's tryst through the woods. They were not sure what awaited them tomorrow, but they knew they needed their rest for it.

Janna crawled into bed and began reading Sir James George Fraser's "The Golden Bough." Tom climbed into bed as well.

"So, is this place all you dreamed it would be?" he asked her, poking his head over the top of the book and looming over her.

"I gotta say, yeah, I think it is," Janna replied, "I've had an admiration for this place since I was young and always wanted to visit. It's been known to be a hot-spot for the paranormal and odd occurrences. So many mysteries surrounding this town and the possibility of finding gateways to new and more frightening realms the Underworld could only dream of. It just sounded amazing to me from the start."

"That does sound pretty metal," Tom smiled at his creepy wife, "Well, I hope we still get to have fun here at least, despite the hard work Mr. Pines is asking from us."

"Really, I think we're just here for support and our expertise on interdimensional portals," Janna said, "But really, I consider it an honor to work with him. He's one of the top minds in the United States parascientific community."

"Still not as awesome as me, though, right?"

"Will you shut up?" Janna then grabbed Tom by the horns, "Just kiss me, my dark prince." She then pulled him close and gave him a long, passionate kiss.

That night, as the two slept in each others arms, the moonlight streaming over them from the window, they did not hear Janna's phone vibrate. It was a text from Star with Hekapoo's contact information. Janna would no doubt attempt to enlist her services as well tomorrow; perhaps she could help in closing these anomalies.


	3. Closing the Portal

"So, if this one's a little too personal, don't answer," Dipper began as he, Pacifica, Tom, and Janna all waited by the side of the road for Wendy's jeep to appear, "What exactly is your skin made out of? Humans are mostly water and carbon based, so what would be the molecular structure of demons?"

"I really don't know," Tom answered, "I was never really that interested in science, to be honest."

"Eh, no worries," Dipper added, "Just a thought."

"Just leave the poor man alone, dork," Pacifica interjected, "Let's just stay focused on closing that portal, if it actually does open up where we think it will." Janna looked up from her phone and saw huge bags under Pacifica's eyes.

"Didn't sleep much after all?" she asked.

"What gave it away?" Pacifica replied, facing her and really giving full evidence of the past night, "I only got, like, three hours of sleep."

"Coffee saves lives," Janna added.

"I know, right?" Pacifica retorted, "I couldn't function without it. When I worked at the diner, Lazy Susan had this great blend made from..." She then looked down the road and saw the familiar jeep appearing over the hill. "And that would be them."

"Whaddup, crew?" Wendy yelled, stepping out of the vehicle door.

"PACIFICA!" Mabel shouted while leaping out of the passenger window and throwing her arms around Pacifica's neck.

"Hi...Mabel..." Pacifica gasped for air. When Mabel finally let go, Pacifica was able to breathe again and speak, but this took a moment. "How was Virginia?"

"Well, there wasn't much to do in Martinsville," Mabel responded, rolling her eyes but still grinning, "Buuuuut I think your advice worked on not taking no for an answer. They think they can start a branch of 'Mabel's Awesome Sweaters' in Richmond. Gotta start the chain, somewhere amiright?" Mabel looked over at the two newcomers. "So, who are they, and what did I miss?" Her tone had that usual playfulness and pitch fluctuation that came out when she would show curiosity.

"That would be the king and queen of the Mewman Underworld," Dipper replied, "I think it's different from the one Earth is linked to, but I'm not sure on that. It doesn't seem quite as evil or ready to kill us all."

"Funny thing is," Tom added, "I'm not sure either, and I rule the place. But anyways, warm welcome." He held out his hands to either side of himself, and two small flames burst from his palms before dissipating. "No pun intended."

"Yo," Janna glanced over while giving a two fingered wave with the wrist flick. She then finally put her phone away.

"Whoa, dude," Wendy chimed in, "Diggin' those horns. Reminds me of an old Slayer album cover."

"Pretty metal, huh?" Tom replied.

"But, yeah, introductions!" Wendy reminded herself, "I'm Wendy, and this is Mabel, Dipper's wacky sister."

"Can't argue there!" Mabel retorted. This grown woman was proceeding to try to climb a small nearby branch to take a picture of a squirrel and hope it would be friendly with her.

"But yeah, as you know, this town is full of the weird and crazy," Wendy continued, "Me, I just kinda go with it. All you can really do to stay sane is keep your cool and go with the flow."

Just then, Janna made a slightly off connection.

"You kinda remind me of someone," Janna squinted one eye and pointed, knowing what she was about to ask might sound strange, "Do you know a Jackie Lynn Thomas by chance? I think her last name is Greason now, but I'm not sure."

"Actually, they sound familiar. I think I have," Wendy answered, but then she looked up and asked herself, "Have I?"

"Weird question," Janna shook her head, "I get it. But if I'm not mistaken, it was your ancestor who was haunting the Northwest Mansion 14 years ago?"

"That would be right," Wendy sighed, "Whatever Old Archie Corduroy decided to do, that wouldn't have been my choice. I'd just let whatever the rich snobs did roll off my back. Make my own party, you know? No offense, Paz."

"None taken, Red," Pacifica moaned, opening a mocha-energy drink fusion.

"Despite the whole mess," Wendy continued, taking en enormous axe off of her back, "I did get my ancestor's axe. It even has some weird magic about it that's pretty useful when I run across monsters in the woods. Paz over here was nice enough to return it to me after the summer of 2012."

"It was the least I could do," Pacifica shrugged, "In my kid mind, it was the first gesture I could put towards making amends for your family. Plus, I really didn't want to keep it in the house."

"Oooh, nice!" Janna's eyes widened, "Another spectral artifact. I wonder if it has any ectoplasm that seeped into the wood or between the cracks on the metal head."

"I'll let you examine it when this is all over," Wendy replied.

"Alright," Dipper chimed in, lifting up part of the hoop-shaped device out of the back of the McGucket Industries truck, "Everyone ready?" Mabel scrambled over and began lifting as well.

"Ugh," she groaned, "This is heavier than some of the feed bags I get for Waddles." As soon as she got her end off the truck, Wendy and Pacifica grabbed the other ends, making it ten times lighter.

"I'm surprised that pig has lived as long as he has," Pacifica said.

"Thanks to McGucket's weird sciency stuff," Mabel replied, "We made a device that slowed his aging down. I just didn't want to lose my piggy."

The group proceeded into the woods with the metallic ring, weaving through the trees. It was kind of a clumsy device to move through the foliage, and the group had to readjust several times. Pacifica was of course overly cautious about her footing, only to groan when her new boots stepped in an exceptionally murky mud puddle. Wendy was quick to remind her that this was the purpose of work boots and that they would be easy to clean.

"Uhm, anything we can do to help?" Tom asked.

"Yeah," Janna interjected, "We're kinda feeling like the third and fifth wheels here."

"Nah," Dipper answered, "I think we got this. It's just awkward."

"I insist," Tom responded. His eyes began to glow white, and he proceeded to float into the air. He began to mutter something in a deeper, resonating voice that seemed to echo multiple pitches at once. "Rob sunt Sam et viatorum in via!"

No sooner had he uttered these words than the ground cracked open, and a troupe of six skeletons popped out of the ground. The undead servants then took the device from the team and carried it themselves.

"Wow...I don't know what to say to that," Dipper was dumbfounded and struggling to find words for his amazement.

"You're welcome," Tom replied, "It just looked a little painful for you guys."

"Plus, you've gotta admit," Janna continued, "skeleton servants are awesome."

"I'd say," Wendy smirked.

The group proceeded further into the woods until they came to what looked like a small grassy opening, the canopy of the Douglas Furs opening enough to let in several twinkling rays of sunlight.

"So you want them to set it here?" Tom asked.

"According to the readouts," Dipper answered, "the next anomaly should appear right about here." He then pointed to the ground directly below his feet. No sooner had he done this than a large, orange-yellow portal opened 15 feet from him. "Give or take a yard," he moaned.

The skeleton crew scrambled over to the portal and set the device down, the anomalous tear in reality in the center of the center of the ring. As soon as they had done this, some hideous creature emerged from the portal, an indescribable aberration with what looked like about 87 or 88 different faces appeared.

"Too late, guys!" Wendy shouted, "We've got company!" She then readied her axe, prepared to fight.

More bizarre creatures began appearing from the portal, including a small swarm of floating eyeballs with bat wings. Mabel pulled out her grappling hook, prepared to swing in to action. Tom generated two flames on either of his hands, and Janna produced the large Yithian lightning gun Tom had found for her all those years ago.

One of the eye-bats got close to Janna, and before it could fire its stone gaze, Janna blasted it with an arc of lightning.

"Hey," Pacifica shouted seeing the weapon, "That's the weird ray gun I lost years ago!"

"Ha, I knew that was your name on the face plate," Janna said.

"Here," Pacifica ran over to her and began pressing some of the strange green runes on the side of the weapon. More of the eye-bats flew towards them, but when Janna fired the ray again, the lightning arc spread further and disintegrated the swarm.

"Wow," Janna smiled, "Would this be coming from your knowledge of the Yithian visions you experienced?"

"Still got a few of those memories left," Pacifica rolled her eyes, "They unfortunately never really left me."

Roughly 20 feet away, the pink demon woman known as Pyronica was facing off against Tom. She tossed several fireballs at Tom, which he simply absorbed. Tom launched multiple fire blasts at her as well, only for her to absorb them.

The two stared dumbfounded at each other for a moment.

"I think we're at a stalemate," Tom said, "but not for long."

Soon, Tom started chanting in some other indecipherable language, and a large black box formed around Pyronica, which then closed and was sealed with multiple steel chains. He hoped that would at least keep her at bay for some and long enough for him to fight off more of these strange monstrosities.

To Tom's left, Dipper was preparing the device and attempting to activate it.

"Hold them off for me a bit longer," Dipper shouted, "I've just about got this thing ready." Just then, the multi-faced abomination flew directly at him. He didn't have time to shout, but he knew it would eat him in that same second.

"GRAPPLING HOOK SWING!" Mabel shouted out of sight. Just then, the horrid creature was knocked through the air and back into the glowing portal, replaced with Mabel swinging in from the grappling hook she had attached to a high branch above. "I still got your back, bro-bro!"

"Just like old times," Dipper smiled.

On the opposite end of the small clearing, Wendy ran up to the top of a large rock, her axe at the ready to face the...faceless gargantuan known as Zanthar. She then leaped forward from the rock and attacked the creature where his face would be, her blade now stuck in the blank slate with her hanging from it. This only seem to annoy the creature rather than damage him, causing him to grab her and the axe from his head and toss her to the ground with a thud.

This didn't deter Wendy, as she got back up in a rage. Her axe blade began to glow with ancient Scottish swirls shining from it. She then raced forward and climbed onto the monster's back and began hacking off all the small trees from it. This definitely irritated him enough to where he continued to flail back and forth, trying to shake her off, yet still she held onto him.

Zanthar continued to flail back and forth until finally he was close enough to the portal. Wendy then jumped off of him and, in the same instance, gave him one hard kick with her right heel and knocked him through the opening in space-time. Upon landing to the ground, she swiped her palms back and forth with a smug look on her face.

Tom pushed the box with Pyronica in it through the portal as well, but no sooner had he done this than more eye-bats emerged. It was a larger swarm than even Janna and Pacifica's lightning cannon could blast. Shortly after, they heard a harsh, nasally laughter from the portal, and a familiar face began to show from it.

It was none other than Bill Cipher, though it was only his image that showed through the portal without him having emerged from it.

"Did you miss me?" Bill continued to laugh, "I'm sure you did. I bet you've been bored since I've been gone, getting old, fat, and complacent like most humans."

"Bill!" Dipper shouted, "Are you trying to return?"

"I think that's obvious, Pinetree," Bill replied, "but I'm a little weak in the knees as the saying goes. These portals to your world are still continuing to bring in weirdness and chaos, the very thing you know I just thrive on. See, I'm actually kinda drawing power from that now, especially since the residuals from the dimensional rift are still starting to tear. Won't be long before I'll be one of the locals of your podunk town again."

"Is this the weirdo you talked about before we came here, Janna?" Tom asked, floating in the air and prepared to fight further.

"Yeah," Janna muttered, and uncharacteristic fearfulness in her voice she tried to hide, "He's bad news, to say the least."

"Oh," Bill mused, "I see White Tiger and Ouroboros have come to join us as well. Well, prepare for more weirdness than Mewni and its Underworld can shake a stick at. Here, have a flying, screaming toaster wearing a diaper!"

And that's exactly what flew from the portal, a very large toaster with gold bat wings that screeched from its top slots like two mouths, the bottom portion wrapped in a swaddling diaper. Tom launched a flamethrower blast at it, causing the weird monstrosity to stagger. It then turned its attention to Dipper's portal device, on which it promptly landed and crushed.

"Aww," Bill chided, "looks like we broke your toy. So, what's your next plan, hero?"

"I've got one," Janna smiled, "Someone grab my cell. Paz and I have to keep blasting these things.

And so, Janna and Pacifica continued to shoot the eye-bats with lightning, Tom and Wendy continued to fight the toaster-thing, and Dipper and Mabel ran over to Janna's side to reach into her bag and grab her phone. It was a chaotic mess, but the group seemed to have it under control.

"Call Hekapoo," Janna ordered, and Dipper and Mabel immediately complied as they navigated to the phone book and tapped to video call her. It rang for a few seconds before Hekapoo's face appeared on screen.

"Hey, you're not Janna," she replied, raising her eyebrow while popping a chocolate bon-bon into her mouth.

"Right, she's a little tied up but wanted us to call you," Dipper replied.

"Oooo, I love your hair!" Mabel chimed, "Girl, you rock those bangs almost better than Pacifica!"

"What was that?" Pacifica growled, looking over her shoulder.

"Just kidding!" Mabel shouted back to her sister-in-law.

"Well, thank you, strange woman I've not met," Hekapoo smiled while eating another bon-bon, "You seem nice. But, seriously, what's going on?"

"We're in the middle of battling with interdimensional monsters," Dipper replied.

"And we need your help closing a portal!" Janna shouted as she blasted another eye-bat.

"Ppppt, easy-peasy!" Hekapoo rolled her eyes, "Be right over." No sooner had she disconnected the call than another portal opened in which Hekapoo emerged. "Holy crap. What did you all get yourselves into?"

"Long story," Tom shouted as he launched another fire wave at the toaster-monster, "Just help us...please!"

Hekapoo multiplied herself, her dopplegangers helping to fight the eye-bats and the giant toaster with two halves of a pair of scissors. This ran interference enough for her main self to sneak through and race towards the portal with her real dimensional scissors. As she closed the portal, Bill had a few choice words to say.

"You may think you've gotten rid of me now," Bill laughed, "but I've still got more plans on the way. Just you wait!" With that, Hekapoo sealed the portal. The eye-bats dissipated, and the toaster-monster evaporated.

"You get into some of the strangest stuff," Hekapoo said to Janna.

"Can I help it that weirdness and I seem drawn to each other?" Janna responded.

So, the group rested for a moment as Dipper explained the story to Hekapoo and what was going on the town. She just laughed.

"You should have called me earlier," Hekapoo chuckled, "I would've closed each and every one of these. It's kinda like when Star was sleep warping."

"Well, I kinda wanted to see what Dipper here had planned," Janna replied, "and to see if his machine worked."

"But it sounds like this Bill guy might be coming back," Tom interjected, "We might want to take some measures if he ever decides to go after Mewni."

"Lets interrupt Star and Marco's vacation," Janna said, texting Star on her phone, "We might want to give them the heads up about this."

"So those are the famous dimensional scissors," Dipper noted.

"The same," Hekapoo flipped them up in the air and caught them, "I could give you this pair if you think you can keep up with that weird triangle's portals."

"Really?" Dipper asked.

"Well," Hekapoo mused, "I could make you go on a long trial to get them."

"Don't take her up on that," Tom warned, "She'll age you 22 years in eight minutes with how her dimension works."

"And then I'd be married to an old man?" Pacifica muttered as her eye twitched.

"No thanks," Dipper laughed nervously, "I'll accept the offer."

"Good boy," Hekapoo then handed him the scissors.

Dipper felt excited and accomplished, not just because he had such a rare artifact but also now had something that could keep Bill's dimension at bay. He didn't know what might be coming, but he and his family were ready to face it head on. Until then, he would happily continue his research in parascience, from the preternatural to the supernatural. In the back of his mind, however, he still knew Bill was alive and out there, waiting to return. At the same time, he knew there were good forces as well that were willing to help him, be it in the Axolotl or the magicians in Mewni, and the thought of this offered him hope on which he could hold.


End file.
